19 2 / 2012


When I was 19, I married my high school sweetheart. He had never hit me in anyway. Never had yelled at me. He was in the Navy and we moved nearly 1000 miles away from home. We had been married one week when he first slapped me. I forgave him. We had been married about a year when he first punched me in the stomach. I forgave him. After about a year and a half it became common for him to slap, punch or kick me.

I lived for the times he was out to sea. I made excuses. I never blamed him, I always blamed me.

After three years of marriage we moved back to our home state. After we had been to visit family, he punched me the entire trip home and had left bruises on my face and arms. All because I smiled and hugged one my best friends: a gay man.

I knew he would kill me.

I went to work the next day and was paid while I found a shelter and went to a doctor. I went home and packed. He came home early and proceeded to beat me with his fists, a belt and kicked me repeatedly. He also threw me down stairs.

The only reason I’m alive is that I played dead and he went to look for something to put “that dead cunt in.”  I was able to open the door and get out of that apartment and stop a car and get help.

I found out later that the doctors at the hospital didn’t think I would make it through the night. I had 4 broken ribs, a punctured lung, fractured skull, broken leg, fractured leg, a broken nose, a broken ankle and various other injuries. They told my dad that if I hasn’t told the person that took me to the hospital what had happened they would have thought I had been in a car accident. They told dad it would be a miracle if I lived. My dad was planning my funeral in his head. When I woke up I talked to the police, got a restraining order and filed for divorce. He went to jail for less than a year.

He remarried someone who knew me. Someone who had seen the pictures, someone who wouldn’t listen to me. She said he was “too hot to do that” she also said “he can hit me anytime.” He does, I’ve seen her bruises. She is living in hell now because she didn’t listen or pay attention to the police report.

Those girls out there saying that Chris Brown can hit them. He will, girls, and next time he’ll be sure to get someone that is not famous and won’t have an army behind her. He might even kill you but don’t worry sure he will look “hot” doing it. Grow up and stop idolizing an abuser.

He doesn’t deserve a Grammy, a number 1 album. He deserves to be treated the same way he treated Rhianna.

If you want to see what someone like him can do, volunteer at a shelter and you will see.

(via notsothinlizzy)

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    This needs more notes.
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    Really, what can I say about this other than we live in a messed up world…
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